Advancing from Want to Worth

You know when you have one of those days where you don’t want to cook, so you pick up take out on the way home and maybe do a little online shopping after dinner to lighten your mood?

This sort of impulsive purchase can be described as something done to avoid discomfort. It distracts you from your stress, but it likely won’t help you meet your long-term goals. We face a dozen similar decisions every day; moments when we can either act in a way that aligns with our goals and values or that simply helps us not feel worse. These aren’t always high-stakes decisions, but over time, the pattern matters. 

 

Make Two Lists

Melissa Kirsch, a writer for The New York Times, recommends moving toward a life you love. This means taking a broad look at your life—not just your spending. Her number one recommendation? Make two lists.  

 

The first is a list of things you want to move away from, like a draining friendship or overpriced daily lattes. The second is a list of things to move toward, like reading more or spending time outdoors. It’s the kind of list we often make in January and forget by February. Kirsch suggests a more frequent habit. “What if these new-year traditions became new-month traditions?” she says.  

 

Each month, name what you want more of and what you want less of. At the end of the month, take 10 minutes to review. There is support for this practice in the work of many behavior-change experts, like Tony Robbins. Robbins says we’re usually driven by one of two things: what we want to experience or what we want to avoid. When we don’t pause to notice which desire is at the wheel, we end up feeling reactive instead of intentional. This applies to our daily behavior and relationships but also to our spending and saving habits. 

 

What will move you towards your financial goals? Some expenses are necessary, like gas and groceries. Others clearly support long-term financial goals, like buying in bulk or enrolling in a cooking class to reduce dining out.

Some are clearly reactive: purchases made to soothe or compensate. Takeout after a long day, expensive gifts for grown children so they know they are loved and missed. These every so often decisions add up.

 

Making monthly lists can help prioritize saving and align spending. The beauty of these lists is in their accessibility. While tools like spreadsheets and apps can help, toward-and-away lists start with honest reflection. Over time, self-awareness becomes a quiet but powerful form of self-knowledge, one that can help you make choices that feel both financially sound and personally authentic.

 

 

Written by Cara J. Stevens, CapTrust